after tuesday’s post about the three things that have helped me to finally enjoy running, i had a request to divulge some of the songs that i like to run to. i was initially hesitant, because (1) there is no shortage of running song lists on the internet, and (2) several of the songs on my playlist are not good music, in my opinion, outside of running.

but i also know how long it took me to carefully curate this list (after scouring my massive music library and online suggestions for songs in the right tempo range, each has been on quite a few runs with me and have survived the never-skipped-this-track test). it seems a shame not to share it. so, in the spirit of my top 20 songs, i give you my top running tunes.

these are listed in order of tempo, meaning that they start out at 165 beats per minute and gradually move up to 180 bpm. if i feel plenty warmed up i’ll skip the few at the beginning, especially when i know i’ll be on a shorter run.

the whole playlist is 1.5 hours, which gets me through about 10 miles on the (rare) days i’m really feelin’ it. but there are a few songs on here that i routinely either fast forward the first half (see #12) or skip the last half (see #23), plus a few songs need a quick FF to get through a dull intro, so a straight play-through usually lasts me an hour and 15 minutes (about 8 miles). that gives me some wiggle room to skip a song or two if i’m bored or tired and still get in a good 6 or 7.

so, without further yapping, here are the songs that motivate me. maybe you’ll find something that works for you, too.

1. “home” by marc broussard (165 bpm) – i just like this song, so the fact that it was close to the desired bpm secured it a place on my list. sometimes i’ll listen to it as i lace up my shoes and find my sunglasses, just to get in the mood.

2. “the march” by josh garrels (166 bpm) – i adore every song on love & war & the sea in between, but never thought i’d find a song to run to on it. this really is the perfect song to get your run started—a steady instrumental track little variance.

3. “you’ll find a way” by santigold (167 bpm) – a good transition into the more uptempo tracks, and definitely fun for running.

4. “riot rhythm” by sleigh bells (170 bpm) - fun song. great for running or dancing in your bedroom.

5. “give it up” by lcd soundsystem (170 bpm) – i discovered this one on someone else’s list, and found i really like it when running, but not so much otherwise.

6. “helicopter” by bloc party (170 bpm) – i really like the part at the end of this song when (and this is where my lack of instrumental knowledge shows) the electric guitar is hitting the melody of high notes with each beat.

7. “hide u” by kosheen (171 bpm) - this song was popular in europe when i was studying there, and so i already like it for the personal nostalgia. but electronic music in general has a way of being repetitive and beat-driven…perfect for running.

8. “pink” by aerosmith (172 bpm) – truthfully, as much as i love this song, sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn’t. but i figured you probably have it in your music files, so you should give it a try.

9. “lose yourself” by eminem (172 bpm) – i think this song is on every running playlist out there, and i agree—it works. the undercurrent is steady the entire song, and his words really accentuate the rhythm. (just fast forward the first 30 seconds.)

10. “paper planes” by m.i.a. (173 bpm) - my husband is amused that i have this song on my playlist, because i always thought it was a dumb song and he (and tons of other people) loved it. well, now i am eating my words, because it is perfect for running. when those repeated gunshots sound on the beat, i may or may not imagine that my 007 shoes are firing as my feet hit the ground.

11. “only want you” by eagles of death metal (174 bpm) – this is another song i found on a online forum that i probably wouldn’t tolerate aside from running. i actually really like the multiple extended rests they take at around 1:55-2:15…each time it kicks back in i feel a little extra oomph.

12. “monkey wrench” by foo fighters (174 bpm) – this song kinda gets on my nerves, honestly, but after the first 2 and a half minutes of the song there’s about 30 seconds of pure energy for me. i don’t care how tired i am, when dave starts yelling a syllable per beat,  i feel like someone turned on my booster engines. so i usually end up fast forwarding through most of the song and reaping the benefits of the last 1:20

13.“umbrella” by rihanna (174 bpm) – it fits the tempo, and i don’t hate it. this song signals the beginning of my “coast out of the last acceleration” phase, with two mellow-ish songs following.

14. “yellow” by coldplay (174 bpm) – you’d be surprised how great this song is on a run. usually i’m running in cadence with drum beats, but the intro and transitions of this song offer some strong strumming to accompany each footfall.

15. “come undone” by duran duran (175 bpm) – when this song comes on i can just zen out for a few minutes before i hit my next turn-it-up song.

16. “go!” by tones on tail (175 bpm) – this might be my favorite song to run to. i didn’t gain to many winners from my online searches, but this one made all the clicking worth it.

17. “a-punk” by vampire weekend (176 bpm) – usually, i am energetic enough after the last song that i hardly notice 2 minutes of a so-so song.

18. “jerusalem” by matisyahu (176 bpm) – another song that lee teases me for adding to the list, because he has always liked it while i made fun of it. what can i say? it keeps me moving when i run. and i’ve always appreciated the nice little moment at around 2:23.

19. “jesus walks” by kanye west (176 bpm) – if this song doesn’t make you want to push forward in time with the marching beat, i don’t know what will.

20. “can i get a…” by jay-z (177 bpm) – a nice consistent downbeat. it works for me.

21. “woke up this morning (chosen one mix)” by a3 (178 bpm) – once i started looking for songs with the right cadence for running, i realized that i was able to (fairly accurately) judge the approximate tempo of a song just by tapping it out on my leg as i listened. i found myself doing this any time i heard a song i liked that sounded close. yes, even while watching old episodes of the sopranos. (you’ll probably want to fast forward through the first 15-20 seconds of this one.)

22. “everlasting light” by the black keys (179 bpm) – i was thrilled when i discovered that one of my favorite songs from this album fell into the target bpm range. but be warned: although i haven’t tested it all the way through, i have the suspicion that the tempo fluctuates slightly throughout the song.

23. “i’m not okay (i promise)” by my chemical romance (180 bpm) – another song i kinda hate when not running. but when i am it’s alright for awhile…after the first 2 minutes i usually skip to the next song, because the end gets all screamy.

24. “bang bang” by knaan (feat adam levine)  (181 bpm) – okay, i take it back about #16. this is my favorite song on the list. it’s SO perfect for the end of a run, because i never feel tired while running to it. i don’t get how that’s possible, but i’m not going to question the gift of a strong finish.

i hope some of the tracks on my playlist can bring power and stamina to your runs. if you have suggestions for adding to this list, please share in the comments. right now i’m not tired of these songs, but i know that can’t last forever.

image via ooohcool.blogspot.com

if you enjoy epic stories, you’ll like this book. if you are awed by incredible physical feats, you’ll like this book. if you are delighted by interesting characters, you’ll like this book. if you are fascinated by anatomy and physiology, you’ll like this book. if you are intrigued by different cultures, interested in science or history, or excited by adventure, you will like this book.

mcdougall’s writing style seamlessly transitions back and forth between research and information and the compelling narrative. it is his own story—his search for an answer to the nagging question of why running caused him nothing but pain.

much of the book is spent uncovering the secrets of the reclusive tarahumara indians, who for centuries have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest over the savage terrain of mexico’s copper canyon and enjoy every mile of it. but mcdougall also takes you from the high-tech science labs at harvard to the sun-baked valleys and freezing peaks across north america, meeting fascinating people all along the way.

i loved marveling over the ultra-athletes, learning awesome scientific and cultural facts, and feeling encouraged about my own potential. i would recommend this book to anyone. it is entertaining and informative, no matter what your interests.

yesterday i confessed that i was once a slave to miserable running, but now i’ve been set free. today i’ll share the recipe that saved me as a runner.

as i mentioned, the advice i’d always received on increasing my distance–and enjoyment–usually boiled down to three main components: good form, good shoes, and good music. yet my early attempts to improve those things did not result in a notable difference. here’s why i took another look at all three variables.

running form

when i first encountered “natural running,” i was skeptical. but what i was hearing made sense, so i checked out the audio version of danny dreyer’s chi running from the library. i listened while performing the exercises according to the prompts, and was soon quite comfortable with the postures.

i’m not going to get into the specifics of how i adjusted my form based on the book, because for that you’ll have to read the book. suffice it to say that i began working with my momentum, and gravity, to keep the movement unbroken and efficient.

it felt good, but habits, doubts, and the structure of my shoes caused me to waver back and forth between my old posture and the new. it wasn’t until i read the incredible book born to run by christopher mcdougall that i decided to really go for it.

and oh, i’m glad i did. completely committing to the new form was seriously like unlocking the shackles from around my ankles. it felt easy, light, and natural.

running shoe

a quality shoe is supposed to be the foundation of good running, right? well, it turns out that the real foundation is your foot, not engineered in a research lab, but created by the Maker of everything. the best running shoe doesn’t try to stabilize or correct your natural foot strike, but is designed to complement it.

after listening to dryer’s techniques, i transitioned into a more “minimalist” shoe–still from a trusted brand, but with more flexibility and less rise in the heel. truthfully, this did not work for me. i think it was the same case as above: caught in the middle, not quite dedicated to a new stride or truly natural footwear. 

when mcdougal’s story inspired me to go all in, i sought out the most natural footwear possible. (this included a brief trial of running barefoot. since i love to go shoeless as much as possible, anyway, i thought it would be great. but it’s just not practical if you like to run outside.)

once i discovered the best running shoe ever, i never looked back. if changing my form was like being released from my chains, finding this shoe was like being propelled forward by an invisible jet pack. browse around newton’s articles and videos to learn more about why this shoe is so life-changing.

running music

i am very motivated by music. it stimulates creativity when i work, energizes me when i do chores, cheers me when i’m in a funk, and inspires me to dance, always. naturally, i assumed the songs that give me extra oomph at the gym would also drive me forward on a run. not so.

well, they certainly motivated me to move, but the variance in rhythm made my pace just as erratic, which meant i was either sprinting and winded, or adopting a bounding stride to move in time with the music.

natural running proponents recommend maintaining a cadence of around 170-180 footfalls per minute, regardless of your speed. so i collected a list of songs that play at 170-180 beats per minute, and deleted everything outside of the tempo range from my playlist. suddenly running was like dancing, because i could move in sync with the music! when your foot strikes the ground with each drum beat, it almost seems as if your feet are creating the sounds. okay, maybe that’s just my active imagination.

with the new tunes, i will honestly continue running when i would other wise deem myself pooped, simply to finish the song. and then the next song often changes my quitter mind again. i wouldn’t leave the dance floor if they played another great tune, why would i stop running to the beat of a great song?

natural form + smart shoe + right music = t’s running bliss

i spent the first few decades of my life convinced i was just not made to run, when all i needed was a fresh approach to these three major elements. you may have already discovered the resources that i have. you ma disagree with the concept of natural running. all i know is that i can go three times as far as i could before these changes, and it doesn’t seem like work at all. although it’s still difficult to imagine running 26.2 miles, for the first time i am considering signing up for a half marathon!

i can’t promise this formula will work exactly the same for you, but if you’ve been frustrated or discouraged by running, maybe it can be a blueprint for your new life as a runner!*

if you run, what are your keys to running happiness? if you live in the okc area, do you want a running partner?

*if you explore any changes based on my recommendation, please read articles and books and watch videos to get more instruction before hitting the road. the info here is just a summary of my experience, not nearly an adequate explanation of natural running technique. also, please heed the advice to go shorter distances while your muscles get conditioned to a new kind of use. i tried too much, too soon, strained something in my foot, and couldn’t run for awhile. (no worries, i just spent my energy riding the slopes in colorado.)

image via guardian.co.uk

this is the story of how my lifelong abhorrence for running has been transformed into an all-out enthusiasm that makes me question my own identity. i’ve deciphered the secret code to my running happiness, and i’m a new person when i lace up my running shoes. the old me was hopelessly lost when it came to running:

before i graduated from high school, i had never run more than a mile or two at a time. i was fine with that–i hated running. i spent my teen extracurricular hours dancing at a local studio and for the school drill team (playing sports only for funsies at summer camp and church leagues), so team “conditioning” was not a part of my athletic training.

in college i made myself go 3.1 miles once a year for our sorority’s charity 5k. i joked that the stars had to align just so for me to have a good run: enough sleep, the perfect amount of the right food at the precise interval of time, the best time-of-the-month…i maintained that i was just not a “runner.”

in the years after college, a weekly-ish 2-3 mile jog worked it’s way in to my exercise routine, and i would complete the occasional 5k with respectable results, but i never got it. i enjoyed moving my body, but running didn’t feel like something i wanted to tolerate for more than thirty minutes–much less hours.

a handful of times i decided i was going to try to increase my distance, and my approach usually involved one of three things i heard often from runners: you need better form, better shoes, or better tunes.

following popular tips on posture and stride yielded minimal improvement. the latest high-tech shoes gave me a temporary spring in my step, but did nothing to increase my endurance. listening to my favorite upbeat music had mixed results: it inspired me to move, but messed up my breathing and pace.

i was focused on all the right areas, but in all the wrong ways.

tomorrow i’ll share how i looked at those three elements in a different way, and discovered a formula that really works for me.

image cropped from thisislondon.co.uk

PROMPT: Write an active scene entirely in dialogue. No quotation marks; no he said-she said; no description of action—just the words the characters say. Don’t explicitly tell us what the activity is, but through your characters’ dialogue, make it clear what they’re doing.

where did he go?

the bedroom, i think.

i told you not to leave the door open.

it was hot in there!

why did he bolt, anyway?

you know he tries to escape every time. check the closet.

nope. maybe under the bed?

aha! there you are! c’mon, boy. Buddy, come! come here…

that’s not gonna work. we’ll have to force him out.

okay, you get on that side and push him my way.

i can’t fit under there! i need something to drive him toward you.

get your hairdryer. he hates that thing.

oh, yeah!   . . .   …is it working?

here he comes! got yo– *$#%!

how did he get past you?

he’s all soapy! he slipped right through my hands!

did he head for the living room?! hurry, before he gets the couch all wet.

no, he went into the kitchen. maybe we can corner him by the sink.

you take the right side and i’ll take the left. go slowly.

oh! so close! he’s too quick. how does he change directions that fast?

aauugh! now he thinks it’s a game! grab a treat to get his attention.

good idea. heeeey, boy! want a cookie? look what i’ve got for you!

well, at least he’s standing still, now. use another one to lure him back into the bathroom.

i can’t believe he fell for it! we should’ve tried that in the first place.

why do we even bother giving him a bath? he’s just gonna go outside and dig again!

you want him tracking all that mud in the house?

(sigh) no, of course not. just close the door next time, okay?

fine. hand me a towel, will you?

as i was choosing blend for my morning cup earlier this week, it occurred to me that the percentage of kitchen real estate that i have zoned for tea and accessories is not normal. perhaps even for someone with a great affection for the beverage like me. so i thought i would invite you into my personal teahouse, share the evidence of my obsession, and get your opinion.

this is my tea pantry. yes, an entire two-door, three-shelf cabinet dedicated to teas and mugs. (and this is not the only place in my small kitchen that is overtaken with tea and tea tools…we’ll get to that in a minute.)

all my loose leaf teas and herbals are on the bottom shelf in airtight glass and tin jars. i’ll occasionally leave it in the store’s resealable bag, if i know i’ll drink it fairly quickly. on the second shelf are bagged teas that are packaged in tins (the individually-wrapped bags have a place of their own elsewhere).

i try to keep everything neat enough that i can see all my options at a glance, although my mental inventory of the (i’m not gonna tell you how many!) varieties is pretty accurate. if you’re thinking there is no way i could drink all that tea before it goes stale, think again. (also, keep in mind that i enjoy some teas extra strong and will double the normal measurement.)

below my Tea Cabinet is my Tea Drawer. this is where i store all the bagged teas that i can easily take with me. i always have a variety stashed in my purse and car for tea-making when out and about, and i also pack a large bundle when i travel so i’ll always have something decent to steep. i love it when i have full-leaf bags, but usually this drawer is filled with a selection from boxes scored on sale.

nestled between my Tea Cabinet and my Tea Drawer is my Tea Corner. this space holds all the accessories i need to brew the perfect cup. the basket holds the infusers, filters, drip saucers, timing hourglass, and measuring scoops, while the hooks keep my teapots handy. lately i’ve been favoring the real-deal cast iron pot i got as a birthday gift. it really does make a difference!

i used to heat water in the kettle every time i wanted to make a pot of tea, but that can happen many times a day. plus, methods for gauging the temperature of the water coming from a kettle are not very accurate. my beautiful zojirushi gets it right every time. i can choose the right water temp for the tea i am preparing, and don’t have to worry about scorching the leaves or ending up with a weak brew.

so that’s my tea space. are you shocked? i could run a commercial teahouse out of my home for weeks without restocking! but it’s not too much for me. each tea and herbal tisane is unique, and i like having just the right blend to fit my mood or craving (or need) of the moment. i’m also lucky that lots of people know of my love for tea and gift me the good stuff often.

and i love to share the experience, the process, the pleasure of tea. i’m officially inviting each of you over for tea at t’s teahouse…it’s always tea time around here, so drop by whenever you want.

are any other tea lovers out there? can your collection rival mine, or am i a bit extreme?

i didn’t realize what a big deal “the longitude problem” was in the eighteeth century. it was the scientific dilemma of the day that impacted the fortunes of nations, the lives of thousands of sailors, and all exploration by sea. it was such a significant concern that the british parliament offered a prize equal to several million of today’s dollars to anyone who could solve the problem.

john harrison was the first person to imagine a mechanical solution. everyone else (galileo & sir isaac newton included) had always looked to the sky for the answer, mapping stars and planets. the story is of harrison’s forty-year obsession with building his perfect timekeeper–an epic scientific quest. and along the way the reader gets to learn about the fascinating world of astronomy, navigation, and clockmaking.

sobel’s storytelling is engaging, but not engrossing. the story itself is interesting enough to keep you flying through the short volume. i can’t decide if this book is more history, biography, or science, but if you like any of those you won’t regret spending a few hours with this one.

what is your favorite type of book to read? do you like when several genres intersect in one book?

my answer to that casual question has been the same for the past seven weeks, and i imagine it will remain so for awhile. i’m no longer just a daughter, sister, wife.

“i’m an aunt!”

i don’t see my enthusiasm dying down any time soon. beautiful Caris Maryann is so adorably perfect i can hardly stand it!

my baby sister has a baby, now, and it’s still hard to believe we’re not kids anymore. but kel and jared are ready for parenthood. just look at the thrilled (and exhausted) new parents, eager to take their precious bundle home.

of course everyone is head-over-heels for her. grandpa dean, uncle b, great titu, and even willow can’t get enough.

even surrounded by all that adoration, it’s hard not to think that she deserves to be cuddled and loved by another pair of arms that will never hold her. admittedly, my niece’s arrival has been a sweet-and-sour emotional ride for me…..but as always, God’s grace allows the overwhelming joy not to be diminished in the slightest by the accompanying sorrow. i have no doubt caris will grow to cherish her titu‘s legacy as we do.

just so long as she knows who loves her most.   judging by her cute onesie and emphatic fist pump, she does.

so that’s the most exciting thing to happen to me, lately. thanks for letting me share.

PROMPT: The song “ The Three Bells” tells the story of Little Jimmy Brown (read the lyrics here).  In each of the song’s three verses, a milestone in Jimmy’s life—his birth, wedding, death—is marked by the sounding of church bells (hence the song’s title). Choose a similar symbol that recurs three times in a character’s life and tell that character’s life story in three parts—could be chapters, stanzas, verses, paragraphs. 

she ranks “snail” mail
in a higher category than e-mail
so when the letter appeared in the mailbox
she eagerly opened the envelope.

the invitation to spend the summer abroad changed her perspective forever.

she loves “just because” gifts
more than birthdays or Christmas
so when the package appeared on the porch
she happily opened the box.

the portrait of her far-reaching impact transformed her ambitions forever.

she prefers “expected” guests
over unannounced visitors
so when the taxi appeared in the driveway
she anxiously opened the door.

the hand-delivered job offer altered her legacy forever.

Le Cirque des Rêves is only open at night, and the fact that it appears and disappears without warning is the least curious thing about it. the nocturnal attraction, styled entirely in black and white, is full of extraordinary wonders, and not even the performers know that it is the setting for a behind-the-scenes magical duel.

i was certainly charmed as celia and marco play in a game they’ve been trained for since childhood. their complicated relationship with the circus, the performers, the patrons, and each other entangles the fates of many into an already high-stakes battle.

the descriptive and imaginative detail in this book is truly…well…magical.

the fantastical themes really worked for me, sweeping me into scenes where i marveled at the creativity and inventiveness of the author.

for me, the story was more entertaining when i decided to just enjoy the ride and not worry about the route or destination of the sprawling, time-jumping story. the puzzle is tightly woven and very slowly unraveled, and while i usually get into a good brain-twister, trying to reconcile all the pieces of this one would only have diminished my delight.

has anyone read this book? were you drawn in by the mystery or the imagery?

i like to purchase some produce at the ethnic markets around the city for the interesting variety they offer. there is a tiny, but well-known, mediterranean deli in okc that i frequent. the food is delicious and authentic, the owner always happy and helpful, and the small market is somehow stocked with every possible item you might want to put together a wonderful mediterranean meal. between stopping in occasionally for lunch, stocking up on fatayah and lebni for my titu, and general shopping trips for my own kitchen, i visit often enough that they know my “usual” order.

they have exotic produce choices like prickly pears, sweet limes, and unusual varieties of eggplant and cucumbers. recently i noticed some baskets filled with small orbs i couldn’t identify, and the friendly owner of the deli informed me that they are just the very fresh versions of familiar foods. so of course i bought some to try.

my first exploratory sample was these straight-off-the-tree pistachios. once you break through the thick skin, the recognizable clam-shaped shell is revealed, with the green nut inside. the shell and nut are not completely dried like the pistachios i’m used to eating, so they have a softer texture with less crunch. still yummy, but too much extra work to get inside.

these unripe dates were fun, because they tasted good crunchy or soft (but much better fully ripened). the difficult part was waiting for them to get soft and sweet before eating them. and the pit was harder to remove before they fully ripened.

i never would have guessed that this little pod contained a fresh green garbanzo bean! it was a strange to eat a handful of raw beans—they were soft and a little tangy. the flavor was nothing like the dried-then-cooked chickpea that i’m familiar with. i’m not sure exactly how one would use them…as is, cook from this stage, or dry then cook?

i also tried some fresh almonds that were white and kinda juicy beneath the fuzzy exterior. i like that they retain their natural water, because i usually soak my nuts prior to eating, anyway. but the flavor was not “nutty” to me (which i prefer), and some were still a bit jelly-like in the center (which i did not prefer).

in the end my adventure in eating fresh was short-lived, at least when it comes to beans and nuts. it was a fun experiment to share, but i don’t see these foods being in my regular rotation of snacks.

PROMPT: You’re on an airplane, mid-flight, when one of the overhead bins suddenly opens. Three bags fall out, spilling their contents up and down the aisle. Describe the three bags and what was in each. Through your descriptions, show us who their owners are and what those people are like. **Added challenge: Turn those bags into characters. Try using personification and other forms of figurative language to make the baggage itself have, well, baggage.

the occasional shudder of turbulence suddenly becomes a stomach-lurching dip in altitude that incites a collective gasp from the passengers. before i can fully recover, the overhead compartment across the aisle flies open, pouring it’s cargo into the cabin.

the strap of an oversized purple and orange tote snags on the latch of the overhead bin, and the tired bag hangs upside down from the hook, emptying it’s contents with a sigh onto the lap of the lady in the aisle seat. relieved to be free of the heavy load, the well-worn satchel dances an aerial jig with the bounce of the airplane.

while the startled young woman tries to decide whether to cover her head or catch the items raining down on her, the briefcase that was nestled behind the colorful carryall slides forward, launches across the aisle, and slams angrily into the headrest of the seat in front of me. the seat’s occupant, clearly oblivious to the concussion he narrowly averted, whips around to deliver a glare that says he holds me responsible for the rattling annoyance.

i immediately throw my hands up in a display of innocence, but before he can even acknowledge my gesture, an overstuffed backpack tumbles out of the open bin and catches him right across the nose. he curses and stares down at the paunchy pack, which has settled on top of what must be his own briefcase, judging by the speed with which he unbuckles so he can reach it.

but as the suit-clad man snatches the surly case up by the handle, it’s evident that the closure was damaged on it’s impact with either the seat or the floor. wounded from it’s attempted assault, the ornery attaché falls open and releases a steady stream of papers…no, pamphlets…no, comic books! “graphic novels,” i hear him mutter as he hastily gathers the fluttering pages.

meanwhile, the boy in the window seat is clamoring over the woman with a lap full of her belongings to get to his bulging knapsack. he upsets the pile of paraphernalia she had been assembling, and the magazines, lipsticks, candy, pens, half-crocheted scarf, ball of yarn, and red cloche hat spill into the aisle and roll toward first class. a flight attendant positions herself in front of the curtain in a wide-legged crouch, ready to play goalie and block any coach possessions from breaking through.

the boy crawls under a surprised passenger’s feet to retrieve his bag, and trips the businessman chasing down a runaway comic caught in the stream of an air vent over his head. both right themselves, and while the red-faced man retreats to his seat, the boy tries to refasten the canvas belt that had been cinched around the pudgy backpack.

the numerous zippers were already straining to contain the excess of stuff, so with the belt loosened, the sack exhales gratefully and lets the hoodie in the middle pocket hang out a little. the boy shoves it back in, but this only widens the gap at the top, ejecting an mp3player and tangle of headphones. the poor guy clamps his hand over the opening too late to prevent a heavy book from forcing the zipper wide open. the bright yellow volume lies on the floor just long enough for me to read “Baking for Dummies” before it disappears under his t-shirt.

the uncompliant backpack continues to refuse the property of its exasperated owner, so he finally scoops up all his things in a bulky bear hug. he awkwardly climbs back into his window seat just as an attendant announces “the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign…”

more interaction, strengthened relationships, and cooperative accomplishments are the goal of my one word for 2012. but i have a feeling that sharing more this year will also have the happy side-effect of increasing my general activity in areas that i commit to share.

figment friday will no doubt encourage me to write more, so i’m sure establishing a weekly book review will guarantee that i finish the books i start.

i’ve been tracking the books i read on goodreads for several years, but not all of my bookish friends are members of the site. i do invite book recommendations and reviews here on the what i read page, but that’s not really the best forum for stirring up good discussion over a great (or horrible) book.

so for all the bookworms out there, wednesdays will be for you. i may not be able to read one book per week (i’m aiming for 2-3 per month), so when i haven’t finished anything new, i’ll share about another book that i’ve read in the past year or two.

i just finished a pretty good read that i’m looking forward to reviewing next week. what about you? have you read something lately that i should put on my list?

image via agile101

in an effort to write more in 2012, i’ve signed up for figment‘s daily themes. i’ve been diligently churning out quick burst of words based on the varied writing prompts, and plan to continue the daily exercise for the three months that the themes will be offered.

i’m challenging myself to share at least five of my pieces on the figment site, and i’d like to post at least twice as many here. so from now until march 30, each week i will choose one of my responses to the daily prompts to publish here on ~okieOLIO~ for “figment friday.”

starting today.

PROMPT: Using third person, write about a moment when a character who usually feels (and perhaps is) painfully awkward temporarily feels singularly beautiful, handsome, sexy, and at ease.

her feet literally drag the ground as she hauls her lanky frame through the front door. the scrape of her heels on the hardwood floors makes her cringe a little, but the weariness from fighting her slouchy posture all day wins out.

as she passes the living room, she shrugs off the tailored blazer, but her bracelet gets lodged so thoroughly in the sleeve that she is forced to violently shake her arm until the entire jacket is dangling inside out from one wrist. she frees herself with a jerk, not caring for the welfare of the obstinate piece of jewelry, and both accessories fall to the floor. with a sigh she kicks off her shoes and allows them to join the pile.

she shuffles by the kitchen, not the slightest bit interested in dinner. her stomach is still churning from the humiliation of the incident at the office that day. if only she could maintain control over her ungainly limbs while in public!

safely inside her familiar bedroom, she instinctively reaches toward the docked iPod, and in seconds is rewarded with soothing notes filling the room. stumbling out of her restrictive garments, the tension in her body begins to release in response to the music.

the almost imperceptible sway of her shoulders slowly spreads to the rest of her. the sharp elbows and knees that usually define her stiff gait are suddenly graceful and elegant in the imagination of the girl overcome by movement. her twirling and bounding throughout the room builds with the song, and soon she is breathless and flushed.

impulsively she grabs the silky scarf from top of her dresser and flings it over her head with enthusiasm. a few heedless giggles escape as it floats down, and she snatches it from the air before it flutters out of reach. draping the delicate cloth around her curveless waist, she executes a clumsy sashay across the floor, swinging her hips flirtatiously to the rhythm of the song. she can feel herself blushing as if the eyes of a dozen admiring men were on her.

as the music fades, she falls gleefully onto the down comforter with a contented grin–one that has not shown itself since the previous night’s dance.

withdrawn. inhibited. reserved.

for most of my life, these words could not be used to describe me. i’ve always been the one that would talk your ear off, plunge headlong into any new adventure, and had no trouble showing emotion. my talkative, open, affectionate personality is, i think, partially due to my family culture, but mostly just…me.

but lately that’s been different. life’s events have compelled me to seal off the my true thoughts and feelings with the excuse of protecting those i love from unpleasant conversations. lack of motivation has eaten away at my productivity, unleashing a steady stream of self-scolding that won’t allow much fun-with-friends time until i shape up. feeling disconnected has led me to reach out less, write less, speak up less.

somewhere along the way i’ve become timid and reticent–to the detriment of my relationships, my professional goals, my personal ambitions, and my spiritual growth.

but, oh, how i love a fresh start. blank notebooks, the start of a road trip, clean laundry.

while i’ve never set a new year’s resolution with any earnestness, i’ve always enjoyed the motivated, energized air that surrounds the turning over of a new year.

there is a small online movement of inspired people choosing one word to sum up goals for the new year. the one word 365 community has come together to encourage each other in focusing on one word for 2012 that “becomes the filter through which you see and live your life. It steers your decisions and guides your steps…a word that can be a reminder, a nudge. A word that you can reflect on, that will challenge you, that will inspire you…”

like my friend megan, it seemed as if my word chose me, rather than the other way around. it’s been ducking in and out of my thoughts and prayers for awhile now, just waiting for me to acknowledge it and give it a place in my heart. i think i’m ready to do that.

my one word for 2012 is SHARE.

at first i was hesitant to use the word that has become a ubiquitous online button linked to every social media platform you can imagine. (oh no, now I’ve put the association into your head, too!) …but, ultimately, it is the word that best describes the way i need to stretch myself this year.

so while there will be some clicking of the online “share” button for me, mostly i want this year to be about being less restrained in areas that i have become closed off.

i will SHARE my stories and not let insecurities make me hesitant to write.

i will SHARE compliments instead of only thinking nice things about others.

i will SHARE my sadness with my husband and family rather than letting it build up inside.

i will SHARE in others’ joys and sorrows and not withhold support i could offer.

i will SHARE my aspirations with others who might be able to give advice and accountability.

i will SHARE my knowledge and talents with those who might benefit from my experiences.

i will SHARE my faith struggles with God even if i feel distant in prayer.

my hope is that this focus will help me live my life on purpose and reach more aggressively toward my goals for the coming year. 2012 is the year i reclaim the real me.

available. expressive. unselfish.

image via david-ogaga

always laughing together

a Big Sister is supposed to play a certain role in the sibling dynamic. older brothers, too. but i’m a sister, so that’s what we’re talking about today.

role model. mentor. it’s practically become the definition of the title. i’m the one who guides and protects my little brother and sister when mom and dad can’t. that’s what the eldest sibling does.

what i didn’t realize is that the job isn’t necessarily permanent. a Big Sister may be able to offer guidance based on her head start for awhile, but if she’s lucky, one day her younger siblings catch up.

they started to close in on my lead in our teens. in high school and college my brother and sister became two of my best friends as we shared more extracurricular activities, interests, inside jokes, and milestone moments.

as we grew into adults, we tracked neck-and-neck as our relationship matured. i looked up to them as much as i hoped they had looked up to me growing up. i remember distinctly the first time i felt like bryan played the role of big brother to me, and have a vivid memory of the first time kelleigh gave me big sisterly advice.

while i absolutely love being able to go to my little bro and sis for support and wisdom, having my position in the lead overtaken was unsettling at first. i’m supposed to be the one out in front cutting through the wind resistance. now i’m drafting in their slipstream from time to time.

yesterday i was baby-things shopping with my expectant sister, and it was glaringly obvious that i’m quite unqualified to give any experiential counsel. as much as i’ve joked that i’m glad she’s going first on this one (which is another cerebral saga altogether), i felt like i was failing on my Big Sister duties.

this new dynamic with my brother and sister may be unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable for me, but i’m growing to appreciate it more all the time.

i’m so proud of you, bry and kel!  and so grateful for you. i am a very lucky Big Sister.

reflecting on the past five years of marriage to my love has left me feeling grateful, amazed, content, supported, happy, secure, and loved. what more could a girl ask for?

especially when four of those five years have been spent in the trenches and aftermath of a war that cost us so dearly. certainly not what these newlyweds were expecting following a carefree, playful, fairy tale road leading up to marriage.

but i truly believe we are stronger for it. and i’m only inspired to be a better wife after seeing the way lee has served me so selflessly through it all.

happy anniversary, babe. looking forward to the next fifty-five!

Filed under: family ]]> http://okieolio.com/2011/09/22/5/feed/ 0 trisha @ okieOLIO 2651221431_14e884ee3c_b http://okieolio.com/2011/08/26/summer-uniform/ http://okieolio.com/2011/08/26/summer-uniform/#comments Fri, 26 Aug 2011 14:46:45 +0000 t http://okieolio.com/?p=2494 ]]> my friend laura of Hollywood Housewife periodically hosts a brag book link-up – an excuse and license to say “look at me!” without apologies. this time she has challenged her readers to post a picture in their favorite summer outfit. i’ve yet to be disappointed after trying something uncomfortable at laura’s urging, so i decided to participate.

i work from home, so my standard summer uniform is the most comfy shorts and tee i can find, no makeup, hair in a pony or messy bun. i tried the whole get-dolled-up-for-the-home-office thing… it lasted a day. so when i get out of the house, i like to get “dressed,” even if i’m just running to the grocery store.

thanks to a freshly organized closet and bits of creative inspiration on Pinterest, putting together an outfit has been more fun lately. but because it’s been so unbelievably hot this summer, i am drawn to the clothes that have the least contact with my skin: dresses.

this dress is a favorite because 1) it’s so lightweight, 2) it has ruffles 3) it has pockets. i am obsessed with dresses and skirts that have pockets. i never like to be without places to stash my chapstick and scribbled notes-to-self. even my favorite lounge pants and gym shorts have pockets.

confession: it’s not even my dress. my sweet sister loaned it to me for the summer because her baby-baking belly is currently too voluminous to fit into it. three cheers for sisters, unborn nieces, and borrowed threads!

the gold bangles were my mom‘s. they came from lebanon and she wore them with everything. the sound they make when they clang together reminds me of her. i got the necklace on a beach in mexico straight from the artist – it’s hand-blown glass and wire.

i love the look of heels (and my wee 5’2″ frame could use the boost), but i always wear flats. my feet are bare 90% of the time in summer, and they rebel if i try to make them trek all over town on a few extra inches. i usually wear the bag across my body so it doesn’t swing around or fall off my shoulder – but that kinda ruins an outfit pic, ya know? i carry this one almost daily. it came from kohl’s, i think, and it’s sustained some serious use quite beautifully.

well, that was only slightly terrifying. kudos to laura for getting us out of our comfort zones. be sure check out the other brave souls showing off their summer style and give them some love. self-portraits are hard!

earrings: ten thousand villages

ring: lia sophia

belt: um…high school?

tank: volcom

sandals: madden girl

what’s in your go-to summer wardrobe? do you have an outfit that always makes you feel great?

it doesn’t seem possible that it could’ve been a year since mom left us to join her Lord in Heaven. in fact, it seems downright wrong.

i don’t know what was most offensive about this unwelcome milestone – the fact that time has had the audacity to keep marching on, or that i now have a marker to make me feel woefully lagging on where i’m “supposed to be” emotionally by this point. the pain is still fresh, the shock still wearing off, yet my excuse can no longer be an acceptable “my mom died last year.”

although unintentional, i’d established a self-imposed statute of limitations on my grief. in my mind, once we were on the other side of the year mark, the expectations on my feelings, actions, and reactions would be different…even though i honestly don’t feel much different. while i’m certain not one of my family or friends would ever place a time constraint on my healing process, i feared that people wouldn’t understand. as if the general consensus after a certain period of time is “the sorry window is closed on that.”

but when i woke this morning (the day after The Day), i felt considerably lighter. as i read God’s word, i felt Him reminding me that He has been, is, and will be my strength, comfort, and joy amidst the sorrow. i realized that while the longing for my mother is still just as strong as the first day without her, she would be proud of the way her family has spent this last year honoring her memory, glorifying The Healer, rejoicing in new beginnings, enjoying fun times, and leaning on each other.

missing my mom desperately is not a sign of weakness, because healing is not a matter of moving on from someone who will eternally be an intimate part of my life. it’s about moving forward, on purpose, fearlessly. it’s amazing how surviving one of your worst fears, and and experiencing God’s provision though it, renders all other threats innocuous.

our newest member of the family is evidently not just a pug-beagle mix….i think he has some capuchin in there as well. that fence has kept cooper out for four years – but not lewis, our tenacious one. (although we’ve already established that coop is not the most athletic dog.)

the irresistible temptation is the frogs, who’ve been making themselves at home in the only cool/damp area in the yard. lewis is a determined hunter, and quite the skilled climber, as you can see. thankfully he’s not really digging holes (which he is good at) or eating produce (which there’s been little of); but he is trampling my poor weather-weary plants every time he goes bounding after his prey. we’ve yet to find an effective deterrent to the breaking-and-entering habit.

i’m intent on nurturing my little veggie-patch as best i can, despite parched soil, unruly growth, and a mischievous pup. any suggestions?

for it’s first birthday it received its very own URL, but for it’s second birthday i was a bit distracted and barely recognized the date. so i thought i should make it up to my poor neglected weblog this year with a whole new look…even if it is a bit belated.

it’s hard to believe it was three years ago that i started posting thoughts on this-and-that to the world wide web. although the last year has been the hardest with regard to opening up my heart and head to this online journal, that doesn’t mean that i enjoy any less the interaction and sharing through this medium. i’m looking forward to a more consistent, varied, and fun fourth year.

thanks for hanging with me!

no matter how much thought and effort i put in to planning the placement of each type of plant before i sow, the oklahoma wind and thunderstorms inevitably whip the seeds into a garden soup before they can get roots established.

so in the end, the cucumbers are mingling with the strawberries, the squash are getting friendly with the tomatoes, and chard is sprouting up all over the place.

which means that i have to tiptoe through my veggie patch because there’s no space to walk between the green. what can i say? my garden grows oganically, both in it’s lack of chemicals and it’s natural propagation.

by the way, if you garden, and you’re on pinterest (or would like to be), let me know so i can invite you to contribute to my “how does your garden grow?” board. i love to hear great gardening ideas, and i need all the tips i can get.

if i “grow up” to be just like my mom, then i will have achieved my only important and worthy life goal (because that encompasses all my spiritual, family, and character goals). i’m aiming for just a fraction of her faith, compassion, ambition, creativity, optimism, energy, and positive influence. those that knew her understand i’m not exaggerating.

my success in reflecting her in the big areas is yet to be seen. but i do know this: i AM my mother in all the little ways. this manifests itself in my life no less than a hundred times a day. from how i fold shirts to the way i make oatmeal to my explore-all-options approach to decision-making, i learned it all from my mom. i’m reminded of her all day long as i recognize her shadow across most of my habits, mannerisms, and methods.

sometimes you don’t realize the extent of someone’s signature on your life until his or her absence highlights it. this was evident to me during a recent cleaning spree, and i shared this with my family:

“so i’m cleaning out my closet (again) and half my clothes are there because of mom… girls’ shopping trips, gifts for no occasion, thumbs up replies to photo texts… the woman had style, and i could hardly make a purchase without her approval.

but it’s hard to give up a worn-out shirt when it reminds me of us giggling in the dressing room while i played runway model and she hung up discarded blouses. and then there are the pieces i can’t bear to part with for no other reason than the fact that mom felt so strongly that i needed a certain staple in my wardrobe. i’m staring at a pretty linen skirt that i have never worn, knowing i should pass it along to someone who will put it to good use, but i can hear her telling me how every girl should have one in her closet. after all, momma always knew best.

seriously, she knew what she was talking about; disregard her advice at your own peril.

reminiscing made the process a little more tedious, but in the end i was grinning at my thrift pile, thinking of the zillions of golden nuggets she passed along – beyond fashion advice – that helped me be prepared, avoid messes, make the most of stuff, and enJOY life.”

the linen skirt might still have to go.

although i’ve not been consistent over the past few months about recording and sharing my purposeful resolutions as i’d intended, i’m still determined to be intentional about growing through the pain. i’m pleased to report that i’ve followed through on my first commitment, and have written quite a few cards for the tiniest of occasions. it’s been a joyful exercise in taking nothing for granted that i plan to continue.

around the new year i pledged my second moving-forward resolution, and after tripping over a few landmines figuring this one out, i’m ready to share it: I WILL REDEFINE TRADITION.

in my subconscious mind, special traditions have been classified in part by the activities that are “the same” each time. my family loves celebrations, and many of our beloved traditions were championed by my mom. on the heels of our first holiday season without her, i knew that i needed to adjust my perspective on “the same” if i were going to truly celebrate without bitterness.

in doing so, i realized that it’s not the same situation that makes a tradition, it’s the same spirit.

we prepare birthday breakfasts in bed in the spirit of serving, we read the Christmas story from the Bible in the spirit of praise, we arrange elaborate Easter egg hunts in the spirit of silliness and play, and each cherished family tradition reflects a spirit of gratitude. and if she’s not there to play her role in the activity, then we must figure out how to continue the tradition in a different way with the same spirit.

i’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice this on purpose, because it seems the calendar is a gauntlet of sentimental events. especially today, the day we celebrate our mothers. so today i honor the moms i miss* as well as the many mothers in my life who inspire and encourage with their self-sacrificing love.

*remembering life and light of Lila “Grandma” Dean 4/4/1932 – 4/29/2011