Category Archives: language
the spoken and written word…and all the linguistic nuances in between
figment friday – tough minutes
you know my favorite daily theme from the week is going to be the one with the seinfeld reference. today’s figment friday channels george costanza. it was fun to write, but this is honestly my least favorite of the responses i’ve shared. it’s pretty uninteresting and seriously lacking in creativity.
PROMPT: In “The Busboy” episode of Seinfeld, George refers to moments like letting the car warm-up or waiting for your hair conditioner to work as “tough minutes.” Narrate a character’s thoughts in one of these “tough minutes.” What does he or she think about during those interminable seconds?
downloading…downloading…c’mon, load already! why is it stuck at 47 percent? did i lose connection? no, it’s just slow. i don’t remember the internet here being so sluggish.
don’t watch the status bar, or it’ll never complete. it’s like waiting for water to boil. find something else to do…make a phone call. um…i know, i need to let corey know about the schedule change, anyway. oh, but it would probably be better in an email. yeah, i’ll email him later.
maybe i’ll get a refill of tea. what time is it…almost lunch? ugh, not nearly. i’m gonna need a snack. only 62 percent?! okay, stop looking at it.
i’ll go get that paperwork from the car after i order something to drink and eat. but as soon as i start working on something else, it will finish downloading, of course.
oh! it’s finally done! what? “cannot open file.” you’ve got to be kidding me.
figment friday – sixteen words
it’s figment friday, again. it’s been a busy week, but i am determined to stay committed to the daily themes.
Prompt: Inspired by Elisa, who is pushed into a political marriage on her 16th birthday in The Girl of Fire and Thorns, write a story about a significant birthday in 16 words or fewer.
“gerald can’t upstage me on my 85th birthday,” herb thought as he dramatically clutched his chest.
bookworm wednesday – our magnificent bastard tongue
in honor of national grammar day on sunday, i’ve been celebrating our lovely language this week. today’s bookworm review is on a book that does just that: Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue: The Untold Story of English by John McWhorter (4 of 5 stars).
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i have always enjoyed mcwhorter’s style of teaching — i borrowed his lecture on “the story of language” from the library and listened to all twelve hours in rapt attention. i admit that i’m already a fan of the subject matter, but mcwhorter has a way of making the international origins of English words and syntax patterns seem like a lively story.
he covers everything from the the odd use of the word “do” in question form to the claim that language reveals culture. i connected with his attitude toward the maddening nature of arbitrary English rules…he seemed to convey an exasperated affection as you would feel for an unruly family member.
one of my favorite things about this book is that he points out how it’s silly to get upset over broken rules like a preposition at the end of a sentence or split infinitives, because the entire history of the English language is of an ever-changing grammar with many broken rules along the way. somehow my brain naturally distinguishes between an evolving way of communication like simplified sentence structure (acceptable), and blatant, lazy errors like mistaken homophones: it’s/its, their/there, or your/you’re (so annoying).
this book may not be your cup of tea, but it is certainly not out of reach, even if you are not a linguaphile. if you speak English, you can appreciate this story.
do you ever think about why we use the words we do? what is one oddity of the English language that has always made you scratch your head in wonder?
grammar goodies
national grammar day may officially only last 24 hours, but i think it deserves an entire week…or at least a few days. to continue in the fun started on sunday, i’ve rounded up some of the fun grammar resources that have popped around the web.
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online universities did us all a favor and collected 100 fun and informative blog posts that every grammar geek should bookmark. they are even categorized into handy groups: parts of speech, punctuation, word choice, style, usage, myth-busting, word origins, and just for fun. great browsing for anyone who cares about using the English language properly.
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if you prefer your grammar in 140 character bites, check out these popular twitter grammarians:
@grammarmonster—lots of factoids about our lovely language.
@apstylebook—the essential style guide remains the best place to take specific style questions.
@grammargirl—mignon fogarty’s podcast episodes are just as fun and helpful as her tweets.
@copyblogger—great resource for any writer who wants to continually improve.
@grammarsnark—laugh at this bad grammar and “drunken proofreading” in professional writing.
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i love interactive tools, and Visuwords™ online graphical dictionary is one of my favorites. more than just an addictive vocabulary builder, the active and colorful display shows words’ relationship to other words and concepts both in part of speech and in meaning. awesome sauce!
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and, of course, you can always rely on schoolhouse rock to offer catchy grammar-themed tunes. can you remember all the words to this classic?
happy national grammar day!
you know this language junkie couldn’t let today pass without recognition. while i’ll be spending my day at the marked event, there will be more celebration of grammar to come on okieOLIO this week. let the grammar fun below tide you over until then. (wait, i’m the only one giddy about this?)
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Baltimore writer and editor John McIntyre of the “You Don’t Say” blog continues his tradition of writing a grammarnoir series to commemorate National Grammar Day.
NEW for 2012: Grammarnoir 4: Final Edition
Part I: “A Belle in the Night”
Part II: “The Mission”
Part III: “The Belly of the Beast”
Part IV: “The Chief”
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other great national grammar day articles:
Celebrating the Orderly Flow of Words in Our Lives by Alan Headbloom
A Tongue-in-Cheek National Grammar Day Quiz by Dennis Baron
5 Easy Ways to Learn Grammar with The New York Times by Katherine Schulten
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and grammar cartoons, of course:
via xkcd.com
via yawcomic.com
figment friday – the index
it seems as if the figment daily themes editors are purposely saving the best prompts for last each week, because friday’s theme is consistently my favorite (and therefore the one i want to share) (meaning that figment friday gets posted later in the day) (not that anyone notices 
). today’s theme leads me to share some insight into my average day.
PROMPT: Harper’s Index is famous for creating curated lists of numbers and statistics, deftly arranged in order to make a larger, often political, point (example here). Similarly, McSweeney’s often uses the structure of the index as a character sketch, organizing personal statistics to reveal something intimate, often ironic, about the writer (example here).
For today’s theme, try your hand at creating your own personal index, illustrating how you spend a typical day.
approximate number of things on my to-do list when i wake up: 84
percentage of those items that will remain “to-do” when i go to sleep: 75
chances that the tasks accomplished will not be the ones intended for that date: 3 in 5
minimum cups of tea required to fuel my day: 6
frequency of pointless distractions: 3 per hour
number of times i open the back door to let the dogs in or out if i work from home: 14
number of times i stop working to chat with a friend if i work from a local coffee shop: 14
percentage by which distractions tighten deadlines: 100
percentage by which my efficiency increases under looming deadlines: 200
probability that either the ember days or the sleep design is playing in my headphones: .82
estimated number of emails sent or received containing the words “revise,” “draft,” or “review” in the subject line: 17
number of emails received that fall into the “newsletters i subscribe to but will barely have time to skim” category: 12
minimum number of photo texts of my niece that i demand from my sister: 1
average number of minutes spent throughout the day smiling at photos of my niece: 7
hours spent running errands: 2
percentage of those hours spent standing in line: 25
percentage of line-waiting time spent reading on my phone:90
chances that i will try to fit in time to run: 3 in 7
percentage increase of run cravings over the previous decade: 300
factor by which food is more likely than entertainment to motivate me to finish work or chores: 5.6
average minutes spent watching tv with lee: 90
probability that i will be snacking while we watch: .99
minutes spent missing my mom: more than i wish to count
minutes spent worrying that i’m not living up to my goals, others’ expectations, or God’s plan for me: more than i should
minutes spent feeling like the luckiest girl in the world: more than i deserve
minutes spent in prayer to make it through the day: incalculable
likelihood, in percent, that at the end of the day i will feel that life is good: 100
