graham at two months – exhausting

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being a mom continues to surprise me in big and small ways, but after two months as someone’s mother, i can also confirm that

motherhood is exhausting.

it’s physically tiring, of course, to devote so much energy to meeting another human’s every need. add to that sleep deprivation and the stress of a learning to nurse comfortably and…i don’t think this is new information, here.

it’s mentally demanding to read, learn, talk, think (and worry) about all the things that could potentially harm my baby or his growth if i am not vigilant to protect against them or promote the proper development. i only thought the info-overload during pregnancy was overwhelming!

it’s emotionally draining to love someone this much. i feel like my heart is being stretched every day.

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when i feel sluggish, i usually turn to movement to get myself energized again, so the fact that running was off limits for awhile was very disappointing. i spent six weeks waiting and sighing and tapping my toes and checking the calendar, anxious to get to that six-week mark so i could be cleared by my midwife to run again. my body was itching to get moving, and just walking was not doing it for me.

THEN, six weeks rolls around, bringing with it a completely different baby, and all of a sudden my energy is zapped by sleepless nights and rocking and shushing and singing and standing on my head or whatever-works-to-make-the-crying-stop. thankfully, this fussy stage seems to be fading, validating the dreaded 6-8 week period that has been every bit as trying as we were warned it could be.

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in general, graham’s days are pretty cushy. he gets to go back to bed after breakfast, take a scenic ride around the neighborhood in the afternoon, and snuggle with dad every evening.

the weather has been so unusually nice that we’ve been savoring leisurely daily strolls for weeks. i keep waiting for winter to arrive and break up the party, only to enjoy an encore of sunny 70-degree temps. i’m truly grateful for the chance to get outside and let the fresh air clear some of the fog from around my tired brain.

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thanksgiving gatherings this month brought the opportunity to finally introduce graham to some very important people, and he spent the week being cuddled by family in three different cities.

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when you’re only two months old, you have a lot of “first” experiences. for graham, this month included his first bedlam game, during which he might have encountered his first curse words.

as you can see, he didn’t get to choose his allegiance. we’ll see who he roots for as he grows, but either way, he’s been born into a house divided.