i’m a WHAT?!

normally i don’t like to be labeled. i don’t think many people do, because labels are typically confining. they box you in to a defined space with no wiggle room. but for the first time i have found a label that is freeing. it unlocked the box i was trying to fit into and said, “here, why don’t you stretch your legs a bit, even dance around if you want.”

somehow i stumbled upon barbara sher’s book Refuse to Choose and was blown away (and a little weirded out) by how accurately she was describing me. i’ve never known anyone else like me in this respect, so i assumed she must have been hiding in my house and observing me…or she cast a spell on the book so it would change its contents to fit the reader. but since her books have sold millions of copies and she consults with fortune 100 companies, i’m pretty sure she’s not a spy or a magician.

what follows is an excerpt from her book–word for word. i know that’s what “excerpt” means. it’s implied that i would transcribe precisely the words she wrote with no alterations. but for those who know me and have worried about the long-term effects of my schizophrenic interests, i want to emphasize that this is not an elaborate justification of my behavior. i’m a scanner! (i did add the bolding to some extra-relevant sentences.)

Are You a Scanner?
By Barbara Sher

“I’m fascinated by something new every week.”      “I can’t pay attention unless I’m doing many things at once.”

“I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?”      “I keep going off on another tangent.”

“I pull away from what I’m doing because I’m afraid I’ll miss something better.”

If you’ve ever said these things to yourself, chances are good that you’re a Scanner, a very special kind of thinker. Unlike those people who seem to find and be satisfied with one area of interest, you’re genetically wired to be interested in many things, and that’s exactly what you’ve been trying to do.

Because your behavior is unfamiliar — even unsettling — to the people around you, you’ve been taught that you’re doing something wrong and you must try to change. But what you’ve been told is a mistake — you have been misdiagnosed. You’re a different creature altogether.

What you’ve assumed is a disability to be overcome by sheer will is actually an exceptional gift. You are the owner of a remarkable, multi-talented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn’t understand who you are and doesn’t know why you behave as you do.

Scanners love to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party. (You’ll notice I didn’t use the word “or,” because Scanners don’t love to do one thing or the other; they love them all.)

Intense curiosity about numerous unrelated subjects is one of the most basic characteristics of a Scanner. Scanners are endlessly inquisitive. In fact, Scanners often describe themselves as being hopelessly interested in everything. A Scanner doesn’t want to specialize in any of the things she loves, because that means giving up all the rest. Some even think that being an expert would be limiting and boring.

To Scanners, the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.

The problem is, Scanners believe they’re allowed to pursue only one path. But they want them all. If they force themselves to make a choice, they are forever discontented. Our society frowns on this apparent self-indulgence.

The conventional wisdom is overwhelming: If you’re a jack-of-all-trades, you’ll always be a master of none. You’ll become a dilettante, a dabbler, a superficial person — and you’ll never have a decent career. Suddenly, a Scanner who all through school might have been seen as an enthusiastic learner had now become a failure.

It appears that Scanners are an unusual breed of human being. One reason they don’t recognize themselves is that they don’t often meet people like themselves. It’s a whole new way of thinking, I know. And much of the world doesn’t see Scanners’ behavior as admirable or even acceptable. Of course, it’s not self- indulgence at all; it’s the way Scanners are designed, and there’s nothing they can or should do about it. A Scanner is curious because he is genetically programmed to explore everything that interests him. If you’re a Scanner, that’s your nature. Ignore it and you’ll always be fretful and dissatisfied.

* Excerpted from the book Refuse to Choose! by Barbara Sher, via getmotivation.com

i’ve often felt shame for my apparent indecisiveness, and frustration with the perspective that i am wasting my potential by not committing to one path and advancing continuously in that area. i remember meeting people in college and thinking i might change my major each time a new friend shared their professional aim. each vocation sounded so intriguing, i couldn’t fathom how others could choose just one to pursue!

i had to chuckle when barbara contrasted the scanner with the “diver” who can’t fathom being interested in anything else but their field. while i admire the specialists who accomplish impressive feats in their area of expertise (the scientists, professional musicians, athletes, etc.), i just can’t imagine not sampling everything i can at the buffet. there’s just not enough time in life to do and see all i want if i repeat experiences i’ve already covered. barbara mentions that she once met a scanner with a button that said “i did that already.”

lest we think barbara is suggesting a fancy title for something more common, she spends some time distinguishing between people who look like scanners, but aren’t. like those who move from one thing to the next for awhile, but can easily stop and give up all the alternatives they’ve considered when they find the “right choice.” or those who are avoiding doing what they really feel drawn to out of fear or outside pressures. and scanners do not necessarily struggle with ADD. also, someone who is content in their field with a normal range of outside hobbies is not a scanner.

after identifying the scanner type, the rest of the book is devoted to helping the scanner manage and nurture this nature, instead of fighting it. sher’s premise seems dubious: you can do everything that you love and don’t have to choose between your passions. but the chapters appear to be a practical guide to balancing your numerous loves and avoiding becoming paralyzed for the typical scanner reason of being attracted to so many things that you can’t figure out which project to reach for next. i’m looking forward to reading more.

this lengthy analysis is probably only fascinating to someone like me, but i have to tell you that it’s such a relief to discover that i’m not crazy, irresponsible, or an unrealistic dreamer. i don’t have to feel apologetic for wanting to do it all and having a resumé that seems unfocused. i’m a scanner, and i don’t mind that label at all.