Monthly Archives: February 2010
overbooked
a good project is like an adrenaline shot into an otherwise often routine existence. i die a little when i have too much routine, and so in the spells where i don’t have a trip, event, or (regrettably) a crisis happening, i self assign a task or challenge – a nice meaty one i can sink my teeth in to. it needs to be big enough that it takes planning and more than a few steps, but small enough that i can see it to completion before i crave another change. it’s rewarding to satisfy both the planner and scanner in me at once.
when i’m free to set the objective and deadline, my extracurricular exploits flow from one to another, with minimal overlap. but sometimes exciting projects find me, and come with a pre-stamped due date. and occasionally many opportunities come at once…and i tend to say yes more than no.
it seems that i have quadruple-booked myself this weekend. which translates into double-header all-nighters. so since i’m up anyway, i decided to take a few minutes to debrief a bit. or perhaps just marvel at the insane number of ways i’ve over committed myself. each of these projects requires my full-time attention, ideally. the perfectionist in me that demands excellence without compromise is screaming right now. behold my four ring circus:
ring one: my raw chef mentor and dear friend mandilyn canistelle, who trained me in the fine art of living foods preparation, is writing a book. The Raw Food Feast: 7 days through the Rainbow will be released in April, and she’s invited me to be her sous-chef on the pre-production, which includes recipe testing as well as planning each shot that will be photographed. over the past three weeks i’ve spent over 75 hours with mandy and a team of helpers refining every detail of the recipes and how they will be presented in the book. this weekend is the culmination of all that work, with three whole days of photography. every dish must be prepared, plated, and captured with step by step shots for each recipe. we have a professional photographer, a videographer (for the publisher’s behind-the-scenes), and a food stylist flying in to make this happen – and i should really be there for all of it. if only i were running a one-act show.
ring two: 30 of my female family members are descending on okc this weekend for a girly saddic reunion. as one of the locals, i would normally be helping to coordinate the airport pickups, hotel rooms, and entertaining activities. seeing as i’m a little tied up, my mom & sister have carried that baton, but at a minimum i want to be present for every minute of the story-telling, belly-laughing, baklava-eating, picture-sharing fun. too bad i’m supposed to spend 8 hours each day at mandy’s, plus…
ring three: with almost no effort on my part to advertise the new biz, i’ve found myself with three editing jobs: one includes some ghost writing, one is volunteer work for my church, and one has good potential to lead to bigger assignments. all three have immediate deadlines. although i had intended to pursue growth on the language training side of the services i offer, i’m thrilled that this aspect of Communicate Clearly is blossoming. too bad the projects are all flowing in during rush hour.
ring four: this is the center ring, the main act under the big top. i’ve been hired to develop living foods program for a lifestyle center near loveland, colorado. this center welcomes guests with life-threatening conditions and incorporates healing therapies and a healthy lifestyle into a holistic treatment. they’ve requested an 18-day menu plan, training for their kitchen staff, seven cooking classes to offer the guests, plus an educational event for their community that includes an hour lecture and 3 hours of demonstrations with tastings. i’ll be spending the month of march at their facility to implement the plan. oh, and we’ll be serving 3 meals a day during this time. um, wow. wow that they’ve commissioned me. wow that this is a really big job. actually, four really big jobs in one. did i mention we finalized this contract less than two weeks ago? so when i haven’t been in mandy’s kitchen or trying to maintain my day job and side jobs, i’ve been buried under my recipe books developing menus and classes and training.
i leave monday morning, so somewhere between cookbook production and family reunioning, i’ll need to find some time to pack. should packing for four weeks count as a fifth circus ring?
i’ll most likely be scarce on the interweb for the next month – a few weeks without ambient awareness should be good for me. carry on, cyberworld; i’m checking out!
A2A
there are many, many things i want to do in this life. in fact, just about everything. but running a marathon has never been one of my aspirations. i like being outside; i like being active. i’ve participated in a handful of 5ks and had fun. but something about hours and hours of pounding the pavement has never appealed to me.
26.2 miles is an impressive accomplishment, no doubt, but i’ve never run even half that far without getting completely bored or antsy to get back to my gazillion other projects. (although i once jogged a very slow 10 miles along the atlantic city boardwalk with the ocean breeze spurring me on – but that was a huge deviation from my occasional 2 to 3 mile jaunts. notice that i still brag about it, though. 
)
for those of you who do get that runner’s high and find your zen in the repetitive and disciplined endurance training, here is a race that should motivate you to get up and get going: the inaugural Arbuckles to Ardmore Race for Mercy.
i may be a bit partial to my hometown, but i think that this race will be special because of the ambitious cause and the uniquely beautiful course. the arbuckle “mountains” may not look like much from I-35, but the view from the historic highway 77 – with its hair-pin turns and steep grade – is much more exciting. add to that the fun of running the trail out to city lake in ardmore regional park, and you have a route that might even keep me entertained.
my husband & i will be running the 5k circuit with my sister & her husband and our dad in honor of my mom & titu, our survivors. the short course terrain won’t be nearly as interesting, but how much can you do with a couple of miles, really? i’m looking forward to being a part of this inspiring inaugural event. there’s still time to register for the 5k, half-marathon, and full-marathon on march 28th. maybe i’ll see you there!
i’m a WHAT?!
normally i don’t like to be labeled. i don’t think many people do, because labels are typically confining. they box you in to a defined space with no wiggle room. but for the first time i have found a label that is freeing. it unlocked the box i was trying to fit into and said, “here, why don’t you stretch your legs a bit, even dance around if you want.”
somehow i stumbled upon barbara sher’s book Refuse to Choose and was blown away (and a little weirded out) by how accurately she was describing me. i’ve never known anyone else like me in this respect, so i assumed she must have been hiding in my house and observing me…or she cast a spell on the book so it would change its contents to fit the reader. but since her books have sold millions of copies and she consults with fortune 100 companies, i’m pretty sure she’s not a spy or a magician.
what follows is an excerpt from her book–word for word. i know that’s what “excerpt” means. it’s implied that i would transcribe precisely the words she wrote with no alterations. but for those who know me and have worried about the long-term effects of my schizophrenic interests, i want to emphasize that this is not an elaborate justification of my behavior. i’m a scanner! (i did add the bolding to some extra-relevant sentences.)
Are You a Scanner?
By Barbara Sher“I’m fascinated by something new every week.” “I can’t pay attention unless I’m doing many things at once.”
“I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?” “I keep going off on another tangent.”
“I pull away from what I’m doing because I’m afraid I’ll miss something better.”
If you’ve ever said these things to yourself, chances are good that you’re a Scanner, a very special kind of thinker. Unlike those people who seem to find and be satisfied with one area of interest, you’re genetically wired to be interested in many things, and that’s exactly what you’ve been trying to do.
Because your behavior is unfamiliar — even unsettling — to the people around you, you’ve been taught that you’re doing something wrong and you must try to change. But what you’ve been told is a mistake — you have been misdiagnosed. You’re a different creature altogether.
What you’ve assumed is a disability to be overcome by sheer will is actually an exceptional gift. You are the owner of a remarkable, multi-talented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn’t understand who you are and doesn’t know why you behave as you do.
Scanners love to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party. (You’ll notice I didn’t use the word “or,” because Scanners don’t love to do one thing or the other; they love them all.)
Intense curiosity about numerous unrelated subjects is one of the most basic characteristics of a Scanner. Scanners are endlessly inquisitive. In fact, Scanners often describe themselves as being hopelessly interested in everything. A Scanner doesn’t want to specialize in any of the things she loves, because that means giving up all the rest. Some even think that being an expert would be limiting and boring.
To Scanners, the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.
The problem is, Scanners believe they’re allowed to pursue only one path. But they want them all. If they force themselves to make a choice, they are forever discontented. Our society frowns on this apparent self-indulgence.
The conventional wisdom is overwhelming: If you’re a jack-of-all-trades, you’ll always be a master of none. You’ll become a dilettante, a dabbler, a superficial person — and you’ll never have a decent career. Suddenly, a Scanner who all through school might have been seen as an enthusiastic learner had now become a failure.
It appears that Scanners are an unusual breed of human being. One reason they don’t recognize themselves is that they don’t often meet people like themselves. It’s a whole new way of thinking, I know. And much of the world doesn’t see Scanners’ behavior as admirable or even acceptable. Of course, it’s not self- indulgence at all; it’s the way Scanners are designed, and there’s nothing they can or should do about it. A Scanner is curious because he is genetically programmed to explore everything that interests him. If you’re a Scanner, that’s your nature. Ignore it and you’ll always be fretful and dissatisfied.
* Excerpted from the book Refuse to Choose! by Barbara Sher, via getmotivation.com
i’ve often felt shame for my apparent indecisiveness, and frustration with the perspective that i am wasting my potential by not committing to one path and advancing continuously in that area. i remember meeting people in college and thinking i might change my major each time a new friend shared their professional aim. each vocation sounded so intriguing, i couldn’t fathom how others could choose just one to pursue!
i had to chuckle when barbara contrasted the scanner with the “diver” who can’t fathom being interested in anything else but their field. while i admire the specialists who accomplish impressive feats in their area of expertise (the scientists, professional musicians, athletes, etc.), i just can’t imagine not sampling everything i can at the buffet. there’s just not enough time in life to do and see all i want if i repeat experiences i’ve already covered. barbara mentions that she once met a scanner with a button that said “i did that already.” 
lest we think barbara is suggesting a fancy title for something more common, she spends some time distinguishing between people who look like scanners, but aren’t. like those who move from one thing to the next for awhile, but can easily stop and give up all the alternatives they’ve considered when they find the “right choice.” or those who are avoiding doing what they really feel drawn to out of fear or outside pressures. and scanners do not necessarily struggle with ADD. also, someone who is content in their field with a normal range of outside hobbies is not a scanner.
after identifying the scanner type, the rest of the book is devoted to helping the scanner manage and nurture this nature, instead of fighting it. sher’s premise seems dubious: you can do everything that you love and don’t have to choose between your passions. but the chapters appear to be a practical guide to balancing your numerous loves and avoiding becoming paralyzed for the typical scanner reason of being attracted to so many things that you can’t figure out which project to reach for next. i’m looking forward to reading more.
this lengthy analysis is probably only fascinating to someone like me, but i have to tell you that it’s such a relief to discover that i’m not crazy, irresponsible, or an unrealistic dreamer. i don’t have to feel apologetic for wanting to do it all and having a resumé that seems unfocused. i’m a scanner, and i don’t mind that label at all.
loves
valentine’s day is silly. love is grand. loves are life.
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness… Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become, even in the natural loves, more careful of our own happiness. We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherit in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.
…It is probably impossible to love any human being simply “too much”. We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the man, that constitutes the inordinacy. But even this must be refined upon. Otherwise we shall trouble some who are very much on the right road but alarmed because they cannot feel towards God so warm a sensible emotion as they feel for the earthly Beloved. It is much to be wished-at least I think so-that we all, at all times, could. We must pray that this gift should be given us. But the question whether we are loving God or the earthly Beloved “more” is not, so far as concerns our Christian duty, a question about the comparative intensity of two feelings. The real question is, which (when the alternative comes) do you serve, or choose, or put first? To which claim does your will, in the last resort, yield?
- from The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis
so maybe valentines day isn’t silly, if it gets people to demonstrate their affection for each other. but somehow it just feels like an awkward public reminder from your mother to “mind your manners.” (what do you say, dear? thank mrs. jones for the nice gift…) i know, i know!
i guess it’s not a bad suggestion, and it can be nice to have an excuse for a special date with your special someone, but i would never be offended if my husband neglected to show me how he feels on valentine’s day. i’d be upset if he forgot to every other day of the year.
