LOL – cherry limeade knockout
in order to enjoy this LOL story from The List, we’re going to work through an unconventional set up process. i think the incident is funniest when visualized in real-time, but so much happened in the matter of approximately 1.2495 seconds, that i’m going to need to explain the details slowly at first. then, once we can all envision the action sequence, we’ll go through it again real fast. okay? great.
so, it was a typical weekday afternoon after high school, and The Boy i was dating had met me at the drive-in joint for what we here in oklahoma refer to as a “coke date” (but you don’t actually have to order a coca-cola, or even a soda for that matter…oh, nevermind).
as we stood on the curb saying our see-ya-laters, sipping on styrofoam cups of fizzy refreshment chilled by perfect ice (some of you know what i mean), The Boy reached in for a goodbye hug. we embraced in the same way that we always fit together: his arms around my waist and mine around his neck.
if you’re keeping track, this placed his drink behind my back. when we pulled away, my arms were moving down toward my sides as his (transporting said beverage) traveled around from behind me, naturally. inevitably, my descending elbow tagged the hand holding the cup and knocked it loose from his grasp. it was presumably still precariously clutched by a few fingers, as evidenced by his lurch forward to attempt a save.
at the same moment that The Boy was lunging toward his falling drink, i comprehended that my elbow was connecting with something foreign and jerked my arm back in the opposite direction. yes, toward his face. which was itself rapidly advancing toward my fist.
my punch connected so solidly with his jaw that his forward momentum was immediately reversed, sending he and his beverage flying in opposite directions. i was left standing there, the lone survivor in the short lived battle, holding my drink in the non-violent hand and my mouth hanging open in surprise.
so let’s replay that without the slo-mo, shall we? are you ready? read as fast as you can: sweet hug…elbowjab-suckerpunch-TKO! to put it in comic book terms, because that’s what the sequence most resembled, would go something like: “aww…BAM! POW! ZAP!”
if you’re wondering, he didn’t dump me after i flattened him with a blindside blow. but now i’m wondering if it’s because he was sweet and understanding, or scared that i would beat him up.