LOL – frisbee fiasco

okay, okay, here’s another laugh-out-loud story from The List! almost all of my anecdotes are memories of something i personally witnessed, but this one is an exception. occasionally the retelling of an incident is so hysterical that my visualization is just as funny, if not funnier than, the actual events. the only rule for inclusion on The List is that it must make me laugh again on the second, third, and subsequent recollections. this doozie definitely fit the bill.

my mom had me in stitches (literally gasping for breath) as she relayed the details to me. i am already laughing again thinking about it. it involves my cousin aaron, who is a year older than me and one of my best friends. we were housemates for a few years before i got married, so i’m pretty familiar with his mannerisms. which is probably why i was able to visualize the situation so vividly and found it so funny. (a bit of a disclaimer, there.)

the setting: aaron and his red heeler, rusty, were visiting our titu (lebanese for grandmother) at my parent’s home one weekend. the weather was pleasant, so they were outside with my folk’s dogs, tossing a frisbee around. rusty is quite good at catching and fetching, and mom’s yorkie, beckham, is good at chasing rusty, chasing the frisbee. (my dad’s golden retriever, shadow, is good at laying and watching all the running.)

so aaron was conscientiously aiming the frisbee away from the pond, which was rather low and swamp-like after a dry spell, knowing that rusty would dive right in after it. (he did have to put the dog back in his car for the drive home, after all.) i’m sure you can see where this is headed.

maybe it was a gust of wind, maybe it was an ill-placed throw, but the disk flew right over the crater where the pond usually sits and dropped out of sight. followed promptly by two panting pets, while a dismayed “nooooooooooo!!!!” echoed across the yard. aaron began moving quickly toward the certain disaster as the pups disappeared over the ledge.

mom, observing from the back porch, was puzzled when aaron’s calls did not bring the dogs right back, and watched as he reached the edge of the pond. in an instant, aaron’s demeanor turned from agitation to panic. he spun around and bolted back toward the house, hollering, “get in the house, get in the house, NOW!”

now, my cousin is active, but i don’t think even he would describe himself as athletic. what i’m saying is: he’s been known to run a few miles for a good cause, but i have never seen him sprint. which is why the image of him clipping along at top speed, all while frantically waving and screaming at mom to take cover, is so darn funny to me.

mom glanced past aaron to see what had provoked his horror, and saw two entirely mud-blackened pooches racing toward them. aaron, knowing that his inevitable fate would be be a shellac of sludgy pawprints, was desperate to make it to the safe haven indoors before the dogs caught up with him. mom, realizing that the danger was dirt and not death, couldn’t move because she was doubled over with laughter.

i need to stop and compose myself now, because i’m already laughing so hard that i’m having difficulty seeing the computer screen through my scrunched up, tear-filled eyes. and that’s only the first part of the story.

later that afternoon, the original hazard avoided and a fresh game of fetch initiated, aaron was wisely throwing the frisbee in the opposite direction so as to ensure no mishaps. the plan seemed to be working as the dogs plunged repeatedly into the brush to recover the frisbee, effectively knocking much of the dried muck from their coats. however, upon one return trip rusty felt an urge he could not ignore, and put his flying saucer down in order to relive himself.

mom was in a position that blocked her view to the dogs, but not aaron. she heard, “no, don’t poop in your frisbee!!” and then, with the same wild alarm in his eyes, aaron sprang into action and fled toward mom, yelling, “get in the house, get in the house!!” mom was again unable to heed his warning, paralyzed with laughter as rusty closed in on aaron, cheerfully wielding his dripping, crap-covered toy.

oh my goodness, i’m spent.